Go Fund Me // Cashapp: $iamilluma // Venmo: iamilluma
When you go from thinking you’re safe to heal because you’ve physically moved away from narcissistic abuse, to realizing that your phone was cloned & access into your home network has turned you into an unknowing community punching bag and Truman Show participant… it takes a minute to work past the shock and betrayal & figure out what to do. But after years of being harassed, digitally/physically stalked, and having my privacy violated in more ways than I can count- I’m finally reclaiming my right to safety, privacy, and peace of mind. I silently documented and narrowed down exactly what was going on, who was involved, and was too exhausted while still healing & working full time to fight… but not anymore. I still work full time helping Deaf people place telephone calls to this day (1.9.26), but I barely scrape by as it is.
I need serious financial help after having all of my revenue avenues systematically crushed. Your help will also be supporting the creation of Digital Privacy & Safety / Anti Cyber-Stalking & Harassment resources for people who are rarely believed when reporting this reprehensible behavior. I will not let anyone go through this alone like I did.
I’ve quietly endured a long-term campaign of unwanted attention, manipulation, and psychological pressure that has affected my home, muted my ability to share my gifts with the world out of fear that they’d misuse something I said or did again, prevented me from feeling safe going places or talking to my friends, celebrating or supporting them, or taking performance gigs as they would surely follow me there. Before I moved away from NE back to TX, my car was taken by my ex J.K. to do a highly uncharacteristic "favor" for me for the first time in our 4+ yr relationship and likely had a tracker placed on it (among other insane sh-t he did in the last month I was there). I discovered the phone my ex had plenty of access to plug into had been cloned after I moved back to TX and my GPS updated to saying it was in Tulsa (where he had apparently just moved). I was stalked via this same compromised cloned phone to my gym by a LiveStreamer from Louisville, KY (4 states away) who J.K. had mailed some of my personal belongings to for some fcking reason... This streamer was involved in invading my privacy not only by stalking me and trying to throw me into a van, but through weaponizing their community because he "didn't like getting his hands dirty". Then I was stalked into the middle of the woods to a private camping space and parked next to by a Tesla who never even camped and wasn't registered as anyone who came through the gate by security/organizers (Tesla's are covered in cameras on the outside). The group of harassers sent packages to my home with my friend's names on them when I dared to communicate with anyone while watching my cell activity for YEARS, they even made fake accounts complaining when I tried to date one time, saying "being replaced sucks". The entire community quoted things I had said and referenced facial expressions I had made within the privacy of my home with NO other devices on besides my cell phone. I tried going swimming without telling a soul once and immediately got approached by someone with clear motive... They had people I considered "friends" approach me suddenly expressing interest in knowing everyone and everywhere I hung out, convinced me to hang out with people who ended up drugging me, sent people towards me with clear, targeted intention to get my new cell phone number once I finally started becoming aware and was experimenting to escape the surveillance, stole money from me, sent people to my home to try to scam me after I had a surgery that I didn't tell a soul the date of before I knew how they were getting their info, and of course they smear campaigned me with projections to anyone who would listen to make sure that no one would believe the TRUTH of what they had done.
They even involved my own neighbor, Robert in 203, in covering up their targeted packages by having him reclaim them from me with what I later found out to be lies. Later he rushed to try to steal my new privacy conscious phone off of my porch right after I checked the delivered notification on my compromised cell phone- swung his door open FAST after I had already placed my hand on the box, then turned right around and went back inside without a word... Robert used to be outside smoking, waiting to try to jump scare me every single time I'd come home (which is something my brother and Dad had mentioned about me being susceptible to while I was deeply dysregulated from abuse/CPTSD). He would do this in front of the security camera that I see the blinking from but he refuses to acknowledge, which points right at my apt. He was out there every single time I came home no matter what time of day it was. But since I replaced the compromised phone, he is never out there waiting for me anymore- funny how that works.
This coordinated, multi-state harassment even involved my own family members. I discovered after my Dad passed that he had been cyber stalking me since 2009 after intentionally instructing me to have poor digital hygiene under the guise that he, as a programmer who definitely knew better, was helping. He was also isolating and cyber stalking my Mom, which became obvious after she passed because of how much access he had and how he refused to tell anyone which hospital or room she was in until her sister fought it out of my Dad. She suspiciously passed right before she was going to be able to finally escape my Dad's clutches (which she had been preparing for her whole life- she was so close). Her sudden passing happened around a young "friend" who lived next door who, while I was the only grieving member of the home my Dad/bro/Mom shared, and understandably confused / distraught by that, was very motivated to show & tell me that he suddenly got rich off BitCoin and was moving to Hawaii now... The young women in the apartment with him couldn't even look me in the eyes when he invited me in to meet everyone, which I found very unusual (but in hindsight, very telling). The apartment barely looked lived in at all, make of that what you will.
My own father intentionally got me drunk with the intention of getting me to log into my email on his PC after my Mom's passing, then had my brother distract me away so he would retain persistent access to it again. I had kicked him out of the account as I was learning more about online safety. Once I no longer drank which was shortly after that, he also attempted numerous times to sabotage my sobriety and even still asked me to log in just to see if I'd fall for it. He was not the only family member involved in attempting to hold "family" and "trust" over my head to manipulate me for their own benefit, but I'll leave those stories for another day. The levels of betrayal that I have uncovered by continuing to be kind in the face of people who were apparently holding knives behind their backs has been truly astounding. These experiences have changed how I view relationships on a fundamental level (for the best, I needed a reality check), but they have not been able to destroy my joy, light, creativity, or faith in the rest of humanity. While I’ve mostly healed from this and taken action behind the scenes; the truth is that I’ve carried this weight alone for too long. That ends now.
This GoFundMe supports my restoration and protection process- Securing my environment, strengthening my digital safety, and accessing legal support that has been intentionally made difficult for me to obtain by these people by stripping away every opportunity I had to make money. I refuse to tolerate this any longer. I have been able to secure my digital life, but I still live next to the neighbor who gleefully participated in my harassment, records every time I leave my home and tampers with my mail, I still have the car that was sabotaged, and while I wait on some steps of pending legal assistance, moving is also at the top of my priority list when feasible. What I have survived physically, mentally, and spiritually is of a scale I still don't have words to define... and I had to do this mostly alone to protect others (besides some very kind donations when I first started this fundraiser - Thank you!!).
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Why I’m Speaking Up Now:
As a neurodivergent woman, I’ve learned the hard way that people like me are disproportionately targeted because we trust people at their word, assuming they’re like us (and boy do we learn not to do that the hard way). When we do finally break free and try to report, we are rarely believed, or reactive abuse gets used against us to make US look like the insane people. The first time I submitted a police report after being physically stalked and having years of evidence, I was spoken to in monotone as if I was a crazy person and told to “just disappear” to make it stop. As a matter of fact, silence is how people permanently disappear - I knew I couldn't do that because even when I did stop posting they still had info they shouldn't of. Instead, I got louder; spoke about my experiences on TikTok and IG, and found thousands of others who are experiencing similar without help or hope. I simply won't let this stand, no one should have to go through this.
• Over 90% of neurodivergent women have experienced sexual harassment, stalking, or abuse.
• Neurodivergent people are seven times more likely to be victims of sexual violence.
• Most cases go unreported or dismissed, especially when abuse is psychological, digital, or systemic.
I refuse to be another one of those silenced statistics.
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What my GoFundMe / Venmo / Paypal Donations Covers:
Without sharing specific tactics for my own safety, this fund will assist me with:
• Replacing compromised tech and rebuilding digital privacy (COMPLETE)
• Fortify my physical safety (IN PROGRESS)
• Access legal resources and professional support (IN PROGRESS)
• Begin relocating from an unsafe environment (IN PROGRESS)
• Recover from the financial strain intentionally caused by years of unrecognized harm, inability to monetize my gifts, and constant stress which has severely impacted nearly every facet of my life. (IN PROGRESS)
This isn’t just about me; this kind of abuse is maddening and far more common than most are willing to admit. I am in the process of creating resources to help us all, whether you've been compromised or just want a more secure foundation for your online/digital life, and I could really use financial support during this process. I am spending what little free time I do have pouring what I've learned into these materials, and will be offering support to people who no one else will listen to when I am finished. Free first steps exist now on my TikTok under the "Escaping Stalking" playlist (@NeonEmu) if needed.
I’m choosing to protect myself, I’m choosing to start again, I'm choosing to transmute this horrible betrayal into armor for not only me but for anyone else who isn't believed, is afraid to report, or just needs a voice. I’m asking for support from anyone who has learned from my posts, saw how my light dimmed, who knows the type of person I am, who has ever dealt with stalking or phone cloning, had their privacy invaded, or has ever been subjected to the God complex of the mentally ill. The weight of this has been immense, but I’m finally brave enough to ask for help, and as of 1.9.26 I still need it.
Every donation, share, and ounce of belief helps. Thank you so much for being a part of this turning point in my life.
Resources to build your foundation of safety can be found on Tiktok @NeonEmu
Also posted evidence to "Systematic" highlight on Instagram @NeonEmu
